Children and Self Esteem
Children and self esteem is one of the most vital topics concerning parents today, and for good reason
The truth is it is probably THE greatest ingredient in a human beings success in life.
A while back there was a study done of 175.00 people in New York City and it was discovered that only about 18.5 people were free of any symptoms of mental illness.
The majority of adults had such a degree of inner turmoil, unhealthy defenses and neurotic hang-ups and all of them can be traced back to a poor or problematic self esteem, which of course has its roots in childhood.
If a child has a good, healthy self esteem than its more than probable that she or he will have a good self esteem as an adult. If not, they will more than likely have some sort of neurosis in adulthood.
When we are in college or even high school the entire focus is on preparing ourselves for the future.. This future though means how will we make a living and that is the barometer for success in our society.
Then we decide at one point that we want to get married and have children and this most important task in our lives, raising our children leaves us so unprepared its almost laughable.
We all want to be good parents yet we are given know courses and no diplomas to learn how to deal with this most challenging task....parenting.
What happens then is that we make many many mistakes, .unintentional mistakes, but mistakes nonetheless and in doing so unintentional damage the very thing thing that we care about the most. Our children’s self esteem.
The problem is that kids touch off all of these sensitive emotions in us. the good ones of joy, delight and yes guilt and worry and fatigue and frustration.
All caused by dawdling, messes, saying NO pinching their siblings, tattling... sounds familiar? If your children are not old enough yet what about when you were a child?
And then you start wondering, what should I do how should I react? Do I ignore? spank? Reason with them?
Because HOW you deal with your children is what is creating their self esteem.
AS Dorothy Corkhill Briggs writes in her well known book “Your Child’s Self Esteem”
“Self Esteem is the mainspring that slates every child for success or failure as a human being based on 2 convictions.
- I am lovable...
- I matter and am valued because I exist and I am worthwhile”
Self esteem is what a person thinks about themselves. It is self respect, self worth.. .being glad that you are you.
It is not conceit. Conceit is actually a symptom of low self esteem. Good self esteem means that you don’t need to impress anyone because you know your own value.
A good self esteem influences the kind of friends you choose, the marriage partner you end up with and helps determine if you a leader or a follower.
Where does self esteem come from
Self esteem comes from the quality of most of the important relationships that exist between the child and his caretakers in his or her early life”.
Just because you love your child though does not mean that she FEELS loved and just because you tell her you love her does not ensure that she will still FEEL it.
In order to know HOW to ensure your child has high self esteem there are four things you must know.
- How high self esteem is built
- How the view of a child’s self affects their behaviors
- What price a child plays when his self esteem is low
- What YOU can do to foster self esteem.
By you understanding what makes kids tick you will be able to pinpoint the areas that need change.
